Hi kids and kittens! I did a thing and booktalked some of my top picks for upcoming Fall 2013 releases. Picked totally on my personal preference and excitement. I’m shameless like that. Enjoy and leave a comment with what you’re most looking forward to.
Because I’m the queen procrastinator and not only am I avoiding the prospect of working all night, I’m also avoiding my sadly behind NaNo. So to encourage me to do something productive I’m dream casting my NaNo. You know, the story I’m no where near finishing and have doubts of ever doing so? Yeah, that one.
Grace: Confession. I know lots of male actors. Lots. I have a list. Seriously. And I know some female actresses but not as many. So I don’t know if I have an opinion about her physical appearance other than she’s strong, athletic and not a typical beauty…Kristen Bell, if we pretend she’s about five inches taller. And wouldn’t hurt for GF to gain a pound, or let me borrow that top!
Dr. Harrison VonForten: He’s actually a thinnly veiled disguise of Dr. Simon Tam anyway so…Sean Maher
Samuel Sharp and Jerimah Keane: Continuing with the Joss Whedon theme…Tahmoh Penikett and Chiwetel Ejiofor
Helen Van Forten: Bitch…Diane Argone.
These are my main players and really as far as I’ve gotten. Should really be writing. Yep. Right on top of that.
And by that I mean the “Gold” VIP Package from Creation’s Supernatural Con. Just check out all the great stuff!
HERE’S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU GO GOLD AT THE SUPERNATURAL NEW JERSEY CONVENTION: (Insert LA for Jersey)
1) The absolute best reserved seats in the main theatre where all our major guests appear! These seats are YOURS, come and go, all weekend. (The closest you’ll get to J &J’s lap and rockhard chest all weekend)
2) Complimentary in-person autographs with great guests including (whoever is available that weekend which for LA meant more actual stars and less “who’d you play?”) and more to be announced.
3) First to get autographs: we go row by row: you are in the front rows: you get the idea! THAT’S RIGHT: you get to our guests first! (To sign various paraphernalia which, seriously, where are you going to put that 8ft stage banner?)
4) Complimentary admission to our SATURDAY NIGHT DESSERT AND COCKTAIL PARTY! Mix and mingle with fellow fans and selected guests. This event is EXCLUSIVE for Gold Weekend Patrons! (I can only imagine, cause I opted for the cheap, voyeur seats)
5) Pre-Registration fun: we get you set for the weekend before other patrons and give you first crack at the exclusive merchandise! (Five tables selling disappearing mugs and autographs leftover from other cons, stuff you’ll really need in 10 years.)
6) Wristband access: we have special color coded wristbands and lanyard credentials for GOLD Package Holders: once you get set you don’t need to wait again! (Read that again, lanyard credentials. Seriously.)
7) Complimentary Admission to our SUNDAY MORNING Breakfast and Charity Silent Auction: enjoy a delightful continental breakfast with other fans and special celebrity drop-ins, and help us raise money for a great charity. This event is EXCLUSIVE TO GOLD WEEKEND PATRONS! (Even I can’t hate on charity.)
8) Fantastic FREE SUPERNATURAL gift you’ll love! (Not so much free when the whole Girlfriend Experience costs $500, not including lodging, refreshments or travel. Oh and crap for all those “free” autographs you’ll be collecting.)
Honestly, I’m torn and a bit of a hypocrite. I went to this thing, I gave Creation my money. I whooped and hollered when the attractive menfolk where on stage. Sure I can comfort myself with the fact that I spent more time exploring LA with my dear friend Rachel than I did creepily stalking sci-fi celebrities. In fact I watched Mark Pellegrino (Lucifer for the un-Supernatural-initiated) walk past on his way to the green room and didn’t realize it until after the fact was pointed out to me. I also missed the Costume Contest to catch my flight but then I proved all weekend my lack of fangirl crazy by not bidding multiple benjamins on banners, autographs, mugs, crap, crap and more crap. Oh and I didn’t submit a fan music video to set to Train. Damn.
BUT as I said to Rachel, for the $500 Gold/Girlfriend Package one of those Winchester boys better be making out with me for at least 10 minutes, wives and girlfriends be damned. I don’t mean to mock those girls/people that did though. I don’t know your life, I don’t know what your reasons were for taking the time, spending the money and hanging out at an airport hotel all weekend. Maybe this is your special thing you do every year. Maybe like me, you meet up with someone and have a great time wandering a new city and watch cinema at it’s most painful (LA folks haven’t lied, The Room really is that bad it’s good, but good in a painful, never again way.)
Or maybe you fall in the typical stalker fangirl clichés. Maybe you write self-fulling fanfic where an attractive young woman named Amanda walks up to a Winchester Boy, pick one, and makes a pithy comment and ten pages later are in bed declaring undying love and devotion. Not that I would know. Seriously though, I don’t know who to blame for these events. Creation for making money where there is obvious money to be made? The stars for appearing and getting paid and giving something back to the fans? The fans for investing a seriously INSANE AMOUNT OF MONEY. REALLY? I PAY RENT WITH WHAT YOU SPENT ON POSTER-SIZED PIC OF SOME DUDE!!???!!!
If it was more about the community and not the one-upmanship of who can get the most crap signed by the most stars and “I really liked your moment with Jared” (real comment overheard by the bathroom mere moments before I was completely oblivious to Mark Pellegrino, who I enjoy as an actor) maybe I’d feel less dirty. Mostly I felt uncomfortable the whole weekend about the elephant in the room no one, organizers, stars, fans, would acknowledge. I like that this show, these characters, this world isn’t real. I have enough real. I have relationships, work, baby showers, laundry that all need my time and attention. I don’t need fictional characters to be real. I need them to live on the screen and in the ethers, entertain me for an hour and then leave me be. But for some, the Girlfriend Experience is real. They think they’re making real connections with these people. They’re knitting them things, asking obnoxious questions, expecting these stars to be the characters, or at least fit into their perception of them.
Again I feel like a big phony for saying all this because I was part of the problem this weekend. I maybe also had a different expectation too. I had thought this would be more about celebrating the work and it wasn’t. And maybe I’m just making excuses. All I have to say is that hope everyone got whatever they were looking for because for that kind of money you better have gotten your climax.
While driving from my mom’s to Chicago last night I began thinking about periods of transitions. I have this recurring conversation with my friends about a general dissatisfaction with my life. It’s not one thing I can pinpoint like job, friends or love life, but an overall sense the direction of my life is off. Off what, I can’t say. Off track, unfocused, incomplete, I don’t know. But when I was driving and remembering all the times I’ve made the trip from the city to home (because for me the Illinois Valley will always be home, no matter where I make my life) I thought about how transitory my life is. College was the awkward and exhilarating time of defining my life on my own, jumping from dorm to dorm, apartment to apartment. Then graduation cut me adrift again into a career that was unexpected and still new. I haven’t settled yet. I haven’t dug in really. I plan to be at my current job for a long time but I haven’t made plans for what that means, move closer, find a more permanent place to live, set up shop, make a life. For so long I’ve been living my life as it comes, living for myself. At what point do we stop living our lives in transit, moving from one stop to the next, high school, college, job, spouse, house, kids and start making life what we wish it to be?
Image Source: Nicholas_T via Flickr
Of New Moon on DVD!!! Shreek!!! Giggle!!! Titter!!! (Testing to see what gets searched and what doesn’t on this thing)
Now that we got that out of the way.
I enjoy that I always want to start my posts out with an apology for not writing more. But then I remind myself I’m administering and posting on three other blogs and running a Facebook Page somehow. And trying to buy a car. Yes, you heard/read correctly. I’m buying a car. It’s time. The old one’s been good but a new one, a new hybrid one, a new hybrid, Prius one, will do the trick. And yes, I know about the recalls. I work in a library, not under a rock.
I wish I could say I’ve been writing but not so much really. Again it’s taken a backseat to life which is the thing that annoys me most. But then I look around my apartment and see the dust bunnies and say, eh, there are more pressing matters. But I’ll get back to it, one day soon.
Although there’s nothing ground-shaking right now I’m hoping this propels me into future action, like the long form reviews I used to do here before goodreads made it so easy to rate and forget.
So not doing so good with the weekly blog posts even though I think of things to discuss, like shirtless hockey player controversies.
I made a video this week which took up some of my free time. C2E2, a new Chicago Comic Con from the people behind New York Comic Con and Book Expo, asked its volunteer applicants to make a video application. And that’s all they ask, no other guidelines. So I took it and ran. Super friend Angie gave me the idea to film downtown on Friday so I did. And then I came back to my apartment, wrote a “script” as such, made props and used iMovie to record more video, edit and insert music and transitions. I probably spent about 4+ hours monkeying with the controls and reading the help section but I now have a video.
Check out all its majesty.
There’s another, unauthorized version of that video with a cooler soundtrack. Email me if you’d like to see it. Warning you though, that’s all that’s different.
Started revising my NaNoWriMo novel. After about two hours I have 10 pages done, and that’s straight copy editing and notations like, “OMG” and “WTF” and “really?” and my favorite “?” Yep, working with quality material here. Honest though, it’s going better than I thought and I’m getting ideas on what I want to build on, areas I’ll probably rework, vigorously and how to fix my pacing, because it is way off. I also need to strengthen my conflict. It doesn’t feel immediate enough.
Now I just need to get through the mountain of books I keep thinking I’ll read. Ha. I’m so delusional when it comes to reading.
I sort of touched on this yesterday and it had me thinking, far more than usual yes, about dreams. They’re ethereal things, both the night ones and the day one. They seem impossible dreams, yet they inspire such yearning and hope. I take dreaming seriously, I really do. No I don’t believe dreaming about a duck means calamity is ahead or whatever interpretation nonsense says (I totally made up the duck thing). But I believe our dreams tell us something very honest about ourselves. Something that maybe can’t be said out loud or to another person yet. But at what point do dreams become goals? And does that make dreams vulnerable?
A blog I read, Editorial Anonymous, had a post recently where a reader wrote in asking, “Do children’s book editors know that they hold children’s book author’s dreams in their hands?” and the anonymous children’s editor gave a suprising but accurate answer. Editors don’t hold dreams, they hold works. Editors don’t crush dreams with rejection, they reject the work. We crush our own dreams, not the other way around. And how true it that, for so many things in life? Yes, we live in a society and not on a deserted island. People reject us, professionally, personally, emotionally, intellectually. But rejection should not be a crushing defeat. I’ve learned that lesson so many time, yet it’s times like now I need be reminded. Hard work does not always pay off every time. But does that mean stop working? Stop trying or never start?
I’m reminded of a poem, William Bulter Yeats’ He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven.
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
I believe our dreams have power but also have limits and this is coming from someone who lives by her dreams and lives for dreaming. It’s my secret world that feeds my real world. And comments like Editorial’s doesn’t endanger that, it makes it stronger. These are my dreams, I believe in them and where they will take me. And I believe I’m strong enough to keep them going in the face of rejection. So dream on, dreamers. But please, don’t crush your dreams. Because no one can dream for you.